How do I know what’s right and act on it?

Have you ever been stuck in a hard spot? You know, one of those times, big or seemingly insignificant, where choices are in front of you, but the path doesn’t appear clear cut? Sometimes it can be difficult to tell if a decision is right or wrong or if one choice is better than another. Maybe you have conflicting emotions, or are ambivalent for one choice or against another?

How do we decide? How do we know what to do?

I thought this was going to be a piece of cake to write, but the more I pondered this, I realized just how treacherous the climb would be to express my thoughts on it.

One thing I know for sure is that you CAN train yourself to make more and more right decisions. The process can become easier and easier.

It’s important when making decisions, both small and large, to pause, not rush, and not act on impulsive emotion. It can be hard to do, but you can. Speaking of pausing, I’m going to hit the pause button really quick. Before we dig into making RIGHT decisions, I want to say first that you must discover the truth or the right before you can champion it.

What?

I know, that’s kind of confusing, but hear me out. Inside you there is Truth. Truth is unchangeable. Right is unchangeable. I’m not talking about right in the way of choosing a job or an assignment or task. Although you can use these tips to do that. I’m talking about moral truth.

What do you believe?

Sit down with yourself and search your values. This is serious business. You’re finding your compass here. This is the compass that will lead you through this life. It will protect you and give you ultimate peace. This inner voice is deep within–we all have it. Some call it a conscience. It knows the right thing.

You may think this is a difficult thing

to discover, but it doesn’t have to be. Truth is inside you. Search your heart, your soul, the deepest depths of you and you will find it. It will speak to you. Take the time to do this and it will change your life.

Once you have uncovered your compass, you’ve got to take care of it–look to it often and remind yourself that it is there. It’s easy to get lost in this busy world where entertainment abounds and quiet, thoughtful moments are brushed aside for a good Netflix series, an activity, or even a…huhumm, a book…

AND

You have to act on what it’s telling you. You’ll get a nudge, a feeling, a thought to do something. If you follow through with that nudge, then next time you need it, it will be easier to feel or hear. Your compass is like a muscle. The more you pay attention to it and work it, the bigger or easier it will be to discover it.

So, now we all know we need to find our compass and that we need to nurture and use it.

It takes courage to act in Integrity and be true to your core values. I call this staying in integrity. Once we know our truth, we need to do all we can to support it. If we can learn to understand and pinpoint our compass, our truth, we will be unstoppable.

Let’s get back to the topic- making right choices.

When you make a choice, you will feel something if you choose to pay attention. Are you inwardly happy with the choice or do you feel inner turmoil and strife?

Here’s a note to keep in mind. Feelings and emotions are not the same things. Emotions are fleeting and often cause us to make poor decisions. Feelings, on the other hand, are lasting. Ask yourself, REALLY, ask yourself when you make a decision: do you feel calm or anxious? While many true feelings can be masked by fear, you can take the time to learn what your inner voice is saying and how you hear it. You took the time to find your truth, your inner voice, your conscience, now it’s time to listen to it.

Emotions like anger cause many a bad choice. Pride, ego? Jealousy, selfishness?  These all lead to decision disasters.

Pause and check in with your compass, your integrity. What is it telling you? Follow it and you will be rewarded with peace.

Let’s be honest here. Sometimes doing the right thing will cause you ridicule when it is done against the prevailing opinion, but because you are acting with integrity and following your compass, the temporary ridicule will be easier to handle. Focus on the peace you felt when you chose, then it’s easier to tolerate any suffering that comes from it.

AND

While you shouldn’t care what other people think about your choices when they are made from a point of integrity, you might consider the people that will be affected by it, if any, and decide on a delivery method that will cause the least pain for others.

BUT…

The right thing must be done.

Remember the emotions? You can’t run from them. Feel the emotions, let them run through you, Feel them all, then let it go. Once you have, then make your decision. Only then can your compass lead you. Yes. Be considerate of others’ beliefs and feelings, but stick to your guns.

The cool thing is that the side-effect to finding your compass and living in integrity is HAPPINESS. When you act in integrity you will feel peace, even if for just a moment. 

Hold onto that feeling, because your mind will try to trick you into forgetting it. Your mind wants to keep you safe in your box and our compass may take us out of that comfort zone.

When you don’t act in integrity, you will feel remorse or guilt because you aren’t showing a commitment to truth, justice, and honor. You can never justify a poor decision, and if you look the other way and go against your truth, it brings regrets later on. Maybe not immediately, but later, you will feel it.

So, what feels right in your heart?

Your mind may jump in and give excuses and propose different actions, but integrity will never fail you.  If you always do the right thing, then others will stop doubting your judgment.

Get comfortable with your choices and do what you say you will do. Align with your compass and you will feel at peace and will be connected with the highest version of yourself.