If you could wave a magic wand, who would you be in your future?
Ha! That was a real question.
Stop and ask yourself that question. What came out? Do you want to make a lot of changes or a few? I hope you didn’t beat up on yourself. I hope you accepted yourself as you are. We all have a starting point.
It doesn’t matter where that is. It is what it is. Just note your starting point so you can actually gauge when you have reached your goal.
Your goal?
Yep! If you want to change and become a better person, you have to set a goal. I don’t care what it is and nobody should but you. Write it down. Where are you now and where do you want to be? Set a time limit to be done. This is so you can check in on yourself. You can always start another cycle of growth if you want to, or you can choose something else to work on once you’re done.
Some of you are still spinning your wheels and wondering what you should do to be better. Well, I can’t tell you. Only you can tell you. You know. You know you know you know. That sounds so silly, but it’s true. You know it. You may be telling yourself you don’t, but you do.
Here’s the bold truth.
Rationalizations, self-told lies, and excuses are keeping you from it. They are keeping you from recognizing what you can do to be a better person. Just stop and be honest with yourself. A lot of times we don’t want to look inside us; we are afraid of what we will find, but it is the only way forward. There can be no growth without honesty. Once you recognize what it is you want to change to be better, and you will—kicking and screaming or not—go after your betterment with no shame.
Shame is a tricky thing. It can keep us from moving forward. When you look inside yourself and don’t like what you see, you may want to bury it again. Don’t. Dig it up and look at it. Cry if you must, but then move on. Move forward with change.
Others of you don’t identify with the monster buried inside, that’s okay. You don’t need a deep dark thing in your life in order to desire change and betterment. We can always improve. And, I’ve found that in the act of trying to improve myself, other things pop up that could use attention too. Hooray! Why hooray? Because my goal was to become a better person and anything that pops out is what I can change.
So, we are all moving on without shame, right? 
We are going for it, full force. We have taken stock of where we stand and have set the goal of where we want to be in the end. We also need to set a date of check-in. The check-in is essential. Don’t skip it. Put it all in your phone. If you’re a creative or even if you’re not, you can easily accomplish this next step–create messages for yourself. They could be reminders on your phone, a screen saver for your phone and computer, or even just notes all around your house. What you place in front of you, you do.
Now, be curious. Find out how you can develop the skill, talent, or whatever is needed to become that person you want to be. Research as you must, but I bet the answers are inside of you. Maybe the research will give you a jumping-off point. What do you need to do to become that person of your goals and dreams? List the items out that will help you get there.
And each time you check something off your list, celebrate the heck out of it. Reward yourself with something awesome while on the path to making your goal. Make sure you have these milestones set up so you don’t give up.
Whenever you are curious and are learning something, it makes you a better person by default.
Also, for many, just the act of reading more, watching exciting documentaries, going to interesting activities, talking and listening- really listening- makes you a better person. Once you choose to improve, it increases your chances of touching others spiritually, emotionally, and physically- including yourself. This is where true change occurs.
Make sure you’re ready for the battle.
It most likely won’t be a walk in the park. So be the healthiest you you can be as you move forward. Read, exercise, sleep enough, drink lots of good water, have good conversation, attend events, have true quality time with family and friends, and work on that goal. Then make another. There’s no stopping you.
If you find yourself stopping for a while or having trouble keeping up with your goal, go back and examine it. Change it. Make it doable-especially on your first try. Don’t beat yourself up. Change can be tough. Brush yourself off and get back on the horse and move forward to that better you.
At its core, it’s not a hard thing to do. Choose to change and then,
Just do it.
PS if you wanted a list of possible things to do- check out google-it has tons of suggestions- but I suggest, you don’t google and instead, listen to that voice inside you and just go for it.
Check out Kate’s struggle to become who she needs to be in the Code of Silence series. Talk about stretching and reaching for a new life. She’s a great example of the fact that your past does not determine your future. You’ll love it.
Code of Silence series: So excited for you to start this series
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